'what do you mean going steady?' is my reaction the first time i hear of it. after all, these kids are just 14, and isn't that the age of multiple crushes?
'yah ma, they've been together since 7th.' she says very sadly, mouth turned down in the most impossible upside down U
gaaahh!!! 12 years old and going steady??? how did things change so much in the span of one generation?
i pretend a casualness i don't feel. 'so why don't you have a boyfriend?'
'i told you ma, because all the boys i like are taken!' brat repeats, rolling her eyes at the dim mother who doesn't understand.
'what about...' i name a few boys in her class i know, and they are all dismissed in the most unflattering of terms... nerd, snitch, smelly...
i know she's very close to the 3 boys earlier described as 'taken.' she's chatting with them on the phone and on facebook as much as, if not more than, she does with her girl buddies.
sometimes the closeness worries me. i worry that she will develop 'feelings' for them and then, seeing as these testosterone charged mini-men are involved with her friends, things will get messy. i worry if she can cope with heartbreak.
'careful sweetie,' i tell her, 'it's very easy to cross the line from friendship to attraction to your teenage version of love, and then it's very easy to forget these are your friends' boyfriends!'
'chill ma,' she always replies, 'you're too hung up on this boyfriend-girlfriend thing.'
i drop the topic. till the next time.
one particular next time i push a bit more...
'so how does it feel to have a crush on your best friend's boyfriend?'
i don't look up from my dosa and chutney but can feel her eyes boring holes in the top of my head.
she stammers, sputters, denies, and in general protests way too much, before settling for a 'how do you know?'
'i'm your mother, i know,' is response enough.
so she tells me how yes, she does have a crush on her best friend's boyfriend, how her best friend found out, and freaked out. 'she felt really insecure, so i told her i didn't really like him.'
'did she believe you?'
'no ma, so to make her believe me i swore i actually liked Z.'
sigh. Z is another friend's boyfriend. this was getting too complicated for me.
'but you know what ma,' she carries on, 'it's ok i don't have a boyfriend,'
(you bet it is baby, i'm thinking, but not saying)
'i have many friends, and if there's one thing i'm not going to do, it's steal my friend's boyfriend just because i like him and he likes me too!'
i gape at her in open mouthed amazement.
way to go girl. you've got your heart in the right place. there's plenty of time for your someone special to come along, and when he does, he will come with no strings attached (i sincerely hope).
*
now if only adults had the sense this little child has!
